DirectorSpeak-English, English-DirectorSpeak Phrase Book
[An edited version of this article first appeared as, “Teach Yourself Mainelli”, 1990 – until Ian was elevated]
Z/Yen Director: Do you have a minute?
Translation: You may as well write off the rest off the day.
Z/Yen Director: Can you spare five minutes?
Translation: You may as well write off the rest off the week.
Z/Yen Director: Meet, meet, tell and sell.
Translation: My expense account needs to be at least four times as large as everyone elses.
Z/Yen Director: This will be excellent experience for you.
Translation: This is a godawful task and I'm sure as hell not touching it.
Z/Yen Director: You'll be able to turn this round by tomorrow morning, won't you?
Translation: You may as well cancel your date tonight.
Z/Yen Director: I know you're really busy right now....
Translation: You are about to become even busier.
Z/Yen Director: Tell me if you think this is a dumb idea......
Translation: You are about to hear the most harebrained scheme ever.
Z/Yen Director: That article is somewhere in that pile of papers over there.
Translation: I haven't the faintest idea what article you mean, but I probably threw it away without looking at it.
Z/Yen Director: That isn't really my main field of interest.
Translation: I don't know anything at all about that subject.
Z/Yen Director: I did some research on that subject at one time.
Translation: I think I read an article on that in the Economist once.
Z/Yen Director: I don't understand this atall.
Translation:You don't understand this atall.
Z/Yen Director: I thought I understood this before, but now I don't.
Translation: I thought you understood this before, but now I realise that you don't.
Z/Yen Director: I don't like this report atall. Any of it.
Translation: Wrong font.