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A fine selection of captions came through this time. Honourable mentions to:

Ariadna:-"You'll never believe it - my next door neighbour rang on my bell at 3 o'clock this morning; fortunately it didn't bother me because I was still awake, practising on these bagpipes". Diane Greenwood

"The Scottish policeman insisted on checking if Ariadna were sober enough to drive". Clare

But the winner is:

I've tried CPR and mouth to mouth, I'm afraid this Haggis is dead.From Mario Rabaiotti

Congratulations to all August/September entrants.