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Volume
Four, Number Twenty-one
"Zest
for Enlightenment"
The
Irregular Newsletter of Z/Yen Limited
May 2003
Who
is to Say? Remember I Told You So!
 Perhaps
having seen several too many Omen sequels, the PropheZy team of Alan Helmore-Simpson,
Dimitris Fatouros, Lonnie Hamm and others work with Michael to process some
interesting datasets in earnest. For
those of you unfamiliar with this tale, PropheZy builds dynamic anomaly and
pattern response systems in minutes. Z/Yen
is building predictors for scheduling television programmes, identifying failed
trades in investment banks, setting customer targets for sales, working out your
audit costs, calculating model risk prices, evaluating operational risk metrics
for banks, setting partner performance targets for professional firms, cleaning
databases for charities and other vital applications which use historic data to
predict future results, for instance how many people will turn up at a Z/Yen
networking event on a boat on the Thames. Standardised
test results on PropheZy, ranging from gene splicing to satellite imagery, have
turned out to be excellent. Unfortunately,
the team struggle over very serious issues, such as the byline.
For instance, should we say that results are “as foretold by PropheZy”,
“enlightened by PropheZy”, “the truth according to PropheZy”, “as
fulfilled by PropheZy” or even “the gift of PropheZy”?
Eschewing blasphemy, the Z/Yen board has gone all biblical, drawing on 1
Corinthians 14:22, “prophecy, however, is for believers, not for
unbelievers”. Hmmm…we shall
foresee.
Taking
Cover in the City
 As
May Day approached, Z/Yen planned how to carry out work in the Square Mile
without attracting the attention of anti-globalisation protestors.
Jeremy Smith, who had a formal public speaking engagement in the
afternoon, came to work in dreadlocks and old combat trousers (no change there
then - Ed) before changing into his svelte pinstriped suit (when did he buy that
– Ed?). Despite the costumes,
Z/Yen has won a number of new assignments in the City for banks and clearing
houses. For these projects, Jeremy
Smith, Michael Mainelli, Giles Wright and Francesca Birch are supplemented by
new associates Derek Long, David Pearce and Francis Hellawell.
The assignments include a number of demanding projects ranging from
establishing the benefits of clearing houses, through cost-per-transaction
benchmarking, to the structure of product control and accounting in investment
banks.
Run,
run, run…fun, fun, Fun???
 For
aficionados, were we talking about the Velvet Underground, the Beach Boys or
more like “Run for Your Life” by the Beatles?
Well yes, we were talking about the London marathon on 13 April.
After conning colleagues he was serious about participating, Jeremy Smith
pulled the proverbial “get out of jail free” card with a mysteriously
unsigned doctor’s note. This left
the suckers, Francesca Birch and Michael Mainelli, stuck with the entire four
month training regime building up to a miserable 26.2 miles.
Strangely, both managed to straggle/struggle through to the end.
Some never learn – it was Fran’s second time.
While both beat the 5 ½ hour mark, Fran revels in beating Michael –
although he stresses the margin was less than ten minutes yet almost 20 years.
Fran and Michael’s pains benefit Leukemia in Children and The
Children’s Society respectively for over £3,000.
At least we know Jeremy has two supporters (sic – tormentors) for next
year.
Z/Yen’s
Public Speaking Marathon
 Following
Michael Mainelli and Anthony Hene’s tour de force at the Charity
Investment Forum Z/Yen are eager to
flex their public speaking muscles in front of the not-for-profit sector.
Ian Harris followed with a stunning display of technical virtuosity
(we’re allowed these terms in an informal newsletter) in front of the Charity
Finance Directors’ Group Annual Conference on 13 May, where he enumerated the
principles of collaborative working in the voluntary sector.
Z/Yen’s next exhibitionist display will be the June launch of the
Strategic Planning Society’s new Voluntary Sector Special Interest Group,
where Michael will join Ian Bruce of RNIB and Roger Perrin on the podium.
In July Stephen Martin and Mary O’Callaghan will pool their resources
at the Institute of Fundraising’s annual convention, discussing how senior
fundraisers can apply “Evidence of Worth”.
Come September, Michael and Anthony travel to Manchester to the Charity
Accountants’ Conference to discuss charity expenditure and also to present
some results from our study of voluntary sector insurance.
Anyone who makes it to all of these Z/Yen charity appearances deserves a
special sponsorship award for endurance! Contact
hub@zyen.com for more details on any of these
events.
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