Now & Z/Yen - March 2000
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Now & Z/Yen - March 2000
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"Zest for Enlightenment" The Irregular Newsletter of Z/Yen Limited 31 March 2000
Wat Anudder Banker?
The One ‘L’ Llama, He’s A Priest
Tantric, Mantric and Yantric (yes, those of you who think only of sex and drugs have missed one) pursuers of true enlightenment are surely aware that the Global Ether/Wheel of Life/Cosmic Continuity/Total Togetherness are alive with news from the ancient Kingdom of Bhutan. Yes, Himalaya Harris, Conqueror of the Seven Extremely Low Peaks Without Which the View from Nepal to Mount Everest Would Be Slightly Improved, has provided consultancy advice to the masses – but Lo (the one L lo), without charging. Blissfully dismissing the dismissable offence, i.e. not charging, Ian has graced the pages of Newsweek in the Kingdom. With the Great Guru’s advice (not quite the exact translation from the official language, Dzongkha) we soon expect the population of nearly 2 million to raise their GDP from the current £1.5 billion. Who needs dot.coms when you can invest in a risk/reward view? On the other hand, perhaps the CIA has a deeper understanding of why "international telephone and telegraph service is by landline through India; a satellite earth station was planned (1990)". A global conspiracy to deprive Himalayan nations from Z/Yen communication?
Banking Charges
Z/Yen is making its own idiosyncratic contribution to the recent UK competition review of banking and banking charges led by Don Cruickshank. Naturally, Z/Yen is well ahead of the regulators and has moved beyond domestic banking charges to look at investment banking. Z/Yen is managing a Competitive Cost Comparison Club amongst over half a dozen leading investment banks. The CCCCCC (who’s counting anyway) is looking at % costs and per transaction costs in both the debt and equity markets. Friends of Z/Yen who have colleagues in investment banks, interested in seeing how their charges compare with their peers, are encouraged to contact Jeremy Smith. Those who would rather deal with the folks who know what’s really going on are encouraged to contact Shelly Kainth or Helen Leale-Green who are doing the work. On a serious note, this is an extraordinarily detailed study with strict information control amongst the participants. Results are expected to be shared with participants in early June.
The One ‘L’ Milet, It’s A Publishing Firm
As the dedicated reader can discern, Ogden Nash wrote for Z/Yen. Those of you obsessed with millet the grain, Millet the sporting goods outfit or milllet the mispellling, will be pleased to know that Milet was not an April Fools joke. Z/Yen were pleased to announce their investment in Milet earlier this month and things have decidedly taken off with several new deals and book announcements, including Now & Z/Yen: Clean Business Cuisine (more to come in the next issue!). Strangely, the joint MD’s, Patti and Sedat, were quick to put in their first travel expense to the Bologna Book Fair. Afficionados (that’s Italian you know) of Z/Yen literature may be surprised to learn that not all bologna is in writing. Bring us back a sausage!
Odds and Sods
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Ruthless
readers of Z/Yen press releases, both the drunk and the psychotic, can hardly
have failed to notice the recent addition of another banker. Jeremy Smith, ex
Managing Director of Bankers Trust and Deutsche Bank joins as Z/Yen’s Director
of Financial Services alongside a team of fellow, uhm, non-bankers. Jeremy
joined us at the beginning of February with the sole objective of saving City
types from the attention of Michael’s wilder notions. What’s worse, clients
seem to prefer Jeremy to other consultancies – so the work is flowing in
rapidly. Fortunately, with Z/Yen building Zaroo’s global FatCatCity (look out
for "Who Wants to Be a Zillionaire!") Jeremy is able to exercise his
former computer gaming skills as well so the poor banking clients get a respite.
Watch out for Morgan Goldman high up in the Atari charts (I think you meant
SegaNintendoWorld, ed).
Yes,
Z/Yen seeks to clean up the odd sod. On 11 May, we are pleased to host a
Reflective Repast featuring John Gummer MP, looking at cleaning up the
environment. The topic for the dinner is "Do Good Principles Make Good
Profits?". John will be speaking in his capacity as Chairman of an
organisation we are happy to support, the Marine Stewardship Council. Contact
Michael Mainelli for more information. Look out for a number of new banking
clients including Commerzbank and Lehman Brothers. Be forewarned – the final
Lady Daphne Boating Bourses on technology will be held in April, May and June,
so do feel free to ring up the office and book your place if you intend to be in
London on one of our sailing days.